Oh my sweet, sweet boy where do I begin. I never imagined how perfect my love would be for you. I just melt when I look into your eyes and feel you molded into my chest. You are such perfection in my eyes and my heart. I was so afraid that I would compare you with Jackson or that I would not have enough love to spread around, but I was so wrong. I have had to learn how to give each of you your own personal time to love, but I find it easier and easier to share time with you ,too. I won't pretend that this first couple of months hasn't been hard, but I will be optimistic that it will continue getting easier and more enjoyable. There's nothing like the feeling of having both of you boys in my lap or asleep under the same roof. My life and my family seem so complete now. I'm a "Mommy" and it's amazing!!!!!!!!
Well, here goes a shot at the past few weeks. You started out being an amazing baby. The first week all you did was eat and sleep. You nursed like a champ and slept through every noise Jackson made. You were so quiet that there were times we had to pinch ourselves and remember you were here. It was a great time to adjust to having you home and settle Jackson into a new life of sharing time. Then momma quit taking her pain meds and you woke up!!!!!!!! Bless your heart we took you in for your first check-up and you were an angel, healthy and gaining weight( except for a little jaundice which was getting better). In the next few days you became a miserably, unhappy colicky baby with reflux. You would pass gas so furiously and loudly that you would scream in pain and constantly spit up. I went to the lactation specialist to make sure your latch was could and that I did have yeast on my breasts. Well, as we suspected your latch was great and I possibly did have yeast, which could possibly cause GI upset. You were still gaining weight and having plenty of dirty and wet diapers, so we knew you were definitely getting enough milk. So, the answer was treat for yeast. The same day we went to see Dr. Lu and he placed you on zantac for the classic symptoms of reflux and re-checked your bilirubin which was back to a normal level. Then I went to Dr. Simmons for a possible UTI and left with antibiotics and diflucan.
By the end of week two the zantac wasn't seeming to help, we had gone through a bottle of gripe water and mylicon and you were developing an eye infection and by that Friday afternoon Jackson came down with the worst stomach virus ever. He woke up form his nap puking down the hallway and all over my feet while I was holding you. I literally screamed for your daddy. I spent the rest of the evening steam cleaning the carpets every time he missed a towel or the toilet and washing every piece of linen we owned and taking care of you. Your Daddy sat vigently with Jacks' as he vomited every 15-20mins for 10 hours. My heart was broken seeing him go through such agony. He would yawn, then his eyes would water and you knew what was coming next. Jason would run him to the bathroom or catch it with a towel. By the end he was dry heaving and screaming in pain and from being scared and saying he was sorry over and over as he hugged the toilet. Then the last few times he was so weak and would just cry for Jason not to run him into the bathroom. We tried topical phenegran, but it didn't prove to work well. He finally passed out around 11pm and then bounced back like a pro the next morning. I think it was just like a bad nightmare to him, b/c he acted line nothing had happened the next day. I wish I could say the same for your Daddy and I b/c he came down with it a dinner time on Saturday and I got it around 10pm. As soon as, I got the feeling I phoned your Nanny and Papa to come to the rescue and I packed your bags and bathed Jackson. The moment I got you both to sleep and lost all control and just prayed that they would make it before you woke up again. They came around midnight with spite , crackers and lysol in hand. I just cried and cried b/c you were having to leave me so soon and that you would have to take formula until I could see you again. I knew it was for the best though, b/c I didn't have the strength or the time to even change you before I got sick again. Papa took Jackson and Nanny took you. Jason and I were both sick throughout the night and early morning and spent the afternoon re-couping and cleaning. We got you back Sunday night. Then your Mamaw and Papa came down with it a few days later. Nanny said that you were a champ. You took the bottle with no difficulty and were fine as long as you were right on her chest. Come to find out, this virus attacked everyone at daycare. You have to love sending your child to daycare on weekends like this!!!!!!!!!!
After the stomach virus I waited the rest of that week and the next to give the zantac a chance. I was worried that you might have had a touch of the virus, so I wanted to make sure it really was the fact of it not working. You were just so miserable. All you could do for weeks now was scream and cry and be held upright on my chest. You ate 24/7 for comfort and we slept on the couch every night. I had a whole set up in the living room. I felt like I was staying at my boyfriends parent's house! LOL! One night you fell asleep early in your swing in the living room and I fell asleep in bed with Daddy. When you woke me up a couple of hours later I felt guilty, like I had just been got sneaking into my boyfriends room by his parents. I would have done anything to give you and I some rest at that point. Anyway, I finally called into the doctors office and asked for something else to help you and we got a $55.00 rx a month for prevacid. Like I said I would do anything for you!! LOL! Well, I questioned it at first, but as we made it into our 6th week we started to see changes. You became much happier and alert. We actually saw contentment, alertness and peacefulness in your eyes. You started sleeping a full 2.5-3 hours at a time,too. My heart is finally resting now that you are. One night you actually went to sleep in the swing around one and I went to bed leaving in in the living room with daddy. He came to bed around 2:30 thinking you would wake soon and I would get up. Well, at 7am Jackson came to our bed sweetly holding your picture talking about you and we left him in a panic knowing that you were still in the swing. Well, you were unharmed and well rested. We couldn't believe it. You also spent a couple of nights in your bed, but then quickly returned to your swing or my chest. You could also occasionally be content lying right up next to me on your back or side. At the end of week 6 you developed another eye infection in your left eye and I took you in this time. We had some drops called in the last time when we had the virus. You have also sounded very congested this whole time, too. I get large plugs out of your nose several times a day. Dr. Duke said that the congestion was only in your nose and probably caused by the reflux. The eye infection was either secondary to the nasal drainage or from a small tear duct. He gave us stronger drops and said that it should get better and you should grow
out of it. So, as you can see, we have had an eventful first 7 weeks. Day by day you seem to feel better and I think the prevacid and you getting older seem to be the reason. Now, I just have two weeks left to enjoy this happy content baby before I rejoin the workforce to take care of other peoples sick babies. Kind of ironic , huh?
Well, even though unmanageable hormones and postpartum recovery, a very unhappy colicky baby, a sometimes unhappy and headstrong 2 year old and a daddy that loves to fish and hunt, we have made it through. I can never thank your daddy, your grandparents, or our family and friends enough for all the support. It's during the rough and trying times that you realize how truly blessed you are. I love you so much sweet, sweet Zachary Brooks and I can't get enough of your snuggling and your smiles. Thank God for amazing miracles and letting me be in charge of raising them.
Monday, August 31, 2009
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